No, it’s not what you think. This post has nothing to do with politics. It has everything to do with stickers (the real reason we vote, if we’re honest with ourselves).

I had the great fortune of snagging a polling place just three blocks away. I packed a book and a water bottle, preparing for a long wait at the polls. Completely unnecessary, as I walked right in, cast my ballot, and waited for my sticker.

WHAT! This is not a proper “I Voted” sticker. First, it’s in the shape of a circle. Every American knows that for your vote to count, your sticker must be in a proper oval shape. Second, it is much too big. You want your smug sense of superiority to be subtle amongst your coworkers, not inappropriately shoved down their faces. Third, there is nary a hint of blue on this oversized monstrosity. I don’t need to remind you that our flag flies red, white, AND BLUE. I’m not asking for a fancy flag (though it would be nice), I just want it to be clear that I didn’t just vote in the Switzerland elections.

This, sir poll worker, is what “I Voted” stickers should look like.

Luckily, I prepared for such an occurrence and layered on the flag gear. Yes, that certainly is a rhinestone flag pin I’m wearing, thank you for noticing.

At least the street on which my polling place was located (Patriotically & Californianly named Sacramento Street) got into the spirit. How great is this bi-partisan cross stitch in the window of the knitting store?

I have fond memories of going to the polls as a child with my mother. Sometimes she’d let me into the booth with her (though I never got to punch the ballot), and she would always give me her sticker, if the pollworkers wouldn’t shell out an extra for a small child. So I’ve worn a flag sticker more times than I’ve voted.

I even worked as a pollworker in high school for the primaries, and was PROUD to hand out perfect oval flag stickers to the lovely voters.

[Sidenote: I strongly recommend signing up to work at the polls if you have the opportunity. It was pretty fun to see the wide range of people come through, starting very early in the morning all the way up to the last minute. This also happened to be the first use of electronic voting systems in our area, and boy was that a mess. Basically, all of the high school volunteers had to figure the technology out and fix it, while the regular poll workers stood back in confusion. I found it to be very rewarding to try to make each person's experience pleasant and easy - particularly because people grumble about voting. One woman brought in muffins for us.]

I hope for your sake, dear reader, that you go out and vote and are rewarded with a lovely flag sticker. I hope you have an easy time at the polls, and that you let your poll workers know you appreciate their help in this American process. Even if they hand you a poor excuse for a sticker.

I’ll admit I like the tri-lingual part of my sticker. But for the love of the USA, I need some blue.

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